


The Dark I Know Well

by ginkyou



Category: Elisabeth - Levay/Kunze
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dissociation, Explicit Sexual Content, Extremely Dubious Consent, Forced Masturbation, I'm Sorry, M/M, Masturbation, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Partial Mind Control, Rape/Non-con Elements, there is nothing consensual about this tbh, this is messed up even for my standards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 15:46:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6057199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginkyou/pseuds/ginkyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On panic attacks, the physical effects of Death on the human body, and blowjobs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dark I Know Well

**Author's Note:**

> A quick one-shot, although one I would like to apologize for. Trigger warning for very, very dubious consent.
> 
> Title from the Spring Awakening song of the name. Beta'd by the lovely [abaigaelnight](http://archiveofourown.org/users/abaigaelnight).

Rudolf had spent the entire day dreading the night.

He already knew what was going to happen. All day long, his mind had been stuck on the revolver resting in its holster next to his bed, and usually those kinds of thoughts meant that a certain childhood friend would pay him a visit in the near future. On most days, he craved the embrace of Death's cold arms, giving him safety and emotional tranquility in the knowledge that no matter how bad things got, there was always a way out, but today was not like most days. Today was one of those days when he wanted Death to stay away as far as possible. All he wanted was to stay in bed, alternating between reading and drinking until he passed out into a dreamless sleep.

Of course, Death didn't care what Rudolf wanted.

Rudolf put down the book on ornithology he had been reading and closed his eyes for a moment to try to relieve the headache that was building in his skull. When he opened them again, Death was sitting on his bedside, looking as if he had always been there. Rudolf froze up at the sight.

There was a small boy inside Rudolf's mind that still held onto hope that maybe, just maybe, if he stayed as still as he could and just didn't move, Death wouldn't see him and would just leave. The smile that played around Death's lips as he eyed the book betrayed that Death, too, knew this. When Death looked up at him, Rudolf could feel his heart speed up in fear. The heavy comforters on him suddenly felt less comfortable and more like he was trapped. He clenched his jaws, pressing his teeth together as his muscles stiffened. Death's face was calm, revealing nothing of what he was feeling, apart from the slightest hint of a smile hiding in the corners of his mouth. Rudolf instinctively recognized this as a sign of bad things to come. By the time Death opened his mouth to speak, Rudolf's heart was hammering in his chest, the blood rushing through his ears threatening to drown out Death's voice.

“Birds die easily. Their hearts give out when they're frightened,” Death said, his eyes holding Rudolf in place and his voice as calm and emotionless as his appearance.

“Don't,” Rudolf said, the word barely audible. His chest felt too tight to even breathe. Everything in him was screaming at him to flee.

Death smiled and crawled onto the bed. As he moved towards Rudolf, bringing a wave of cold air with him, Rudolf shrunk into the covers, pulling his knees up to his chest as Death drew nearer. Rudolf wanted to close his eyes, screw them shut and cover his ears and hide under the covers for the rest of his life. The closer the man got to him, the more the revolver was on his mind.

Death curled himself around Rudolf, nuzzling his cheek in the nape of Rudolf's neck as Rudolf's entire body stiffened. Rudolf felt like his heart was threatening to strangle his own throat. Death raised a hand to stroke Rudolf's hair, chuckling into his ear when Rudolf's breathing changed to shallow, panicked panting. Rudolf felt deeply, violently sick. It was like Death's arms were tightening around him with every second, a Boa constrictor preparing to crush its prey.

Death lowered the hand that had stroked Rudolf's hair and trailed it over the curves of Rudolf's face, brushing the side of his cheek and neck and moving it further downwards, making Rudolf's heart stutter in his chest and his lungs flail and his insides twist up as Death's fingers glid lower.

“Don't,” Rudolf choked, forcing the word out of his mouth as if it had gotten stuck in his throat. Death let his fingertips rest between Rudolf's legs. As Rudolf tried to recoil from the touch, Death pressed his lips against the cold, sweat-covered skin of Rudolf's collarbones. Rudolf gasped at the kiss, sparks of pain shooting through his chest as his heart jumped and almost gave out, the life literally being sucked from it. Rudolf's head was spinning, a primal fear overwhelming him.

“Touch yourself for me,” Death whispered into Rudolf's ear. Rudolf flinched and whimpered, trying to pull away from Death. His chest was expanding and contracting rapidly. He was covered in cold sweat, his shirt soaked, clinging to his trembling body. Rudolf wanted to shake his head, lift his hands and push Death away. To his horror he found that, as the mouth pressed to his neck twisted into a smile, his own shaking hands instead slid under the covers.

Death undid the buttons of Rudolf's shirt, exposing his glistening chest, and moved down his body to gently pull back the covers. Rudolf's hand was trembling even as it was wrapped around his cock, fingers numb and nails blue as his frantically beating heart drew all his blood into the core of his body. Death watched him for a while, a smile on his slightly parted lips.

Death slid between Rudolf's legs and Rudolf let him part them without any resistance. Rudolf let his head rest on the pillow, hyperventilating, sweat running down his pale face, his whole body shaking. His eyelids were fluttering constantly, trying to blink away the tears.

Death's mouth made contact with his member and just as the kisses before, it sent an almost electric shock through his body. A fear-filled, pained moan escaped Rudolf and his upper body shot forward, reflexively pulling his knees up until Death put his hands on his thighs, making them slump back down on the bed. Rudolf couldn't get enough air into his frantically working lungs to protest. He buried his hands in Death's hair, gripping onto it with all his strength in a last attempt to stabilize his spinning mind. His heart continued its wild dance in his chest to a point where he feared it would give out any second. He cried wordlessly, shoulders slumped, tears and sweat dripping into Death's hair where they slowly froze.

The rest was a blur to Rudolf, clinging onto strands of Death's hair as if his life depended on it, then biting his own hand to stifle a moan and assure himself that he was still real, that this was actually happening, that the panic hadn't swept him out of his body entirely.

In the end, Rudolf gave in. His resistance crumbled after the initial shock was gone. He had no choice but to go along with it, and since there was no escape for him, at least the tangible feeling of Death's mouth around his cock worked as a means of keeping himself on this plane of existence. He held onto the feeling and forced himself to focus on it, managing to let the panic subside enough for arousal to at least take over his body, if not his mind.

As Death took him deeper and deeper into his mouth, Rudolf let his body take control. He didn't feel like himself anymore, and that was probably a good thing. Even when the feeling he would have called “pleasure” in any other situation built up enough that he knew he was on the brink of orgasm, it didn't feel like it was happening to him. He was entirely detached from everything that was happening to his body, watching it from afar. As Death sped up the pace of his movements, Rudolf hearing himself moan into Death's hair, he was finally safe, out of Death's reach, somewhere above the two of them.

He came into Death's mouth with a noise halfway between a sigh and a sob, his lungs heaving out a last bit of air, Death swallowing around his cock. He felt himself slump back down onto the bed, still feeling distinctly and unchangedly unreal, his exhausted body trembling even now.

Death kissed him on the cheek and left as quietly as he had arrived. Rudolf curled up on the bed the second the weight of the other man's body was gone. His own body felt strange and heavy as he struggled to return to reality. When he heard the door click, Rudolf gave up any last semblance of composure and sobbed.


End file.
